You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
