Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
