Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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