Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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