Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
