ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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