some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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