He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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