How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
