I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
