do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
