i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
