He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
