This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You are the jesus of drinking
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
