He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
