Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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