y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
