Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
