I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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