i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me they were just razor bumps!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
