he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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