I hate your face
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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