dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
