Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
