i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
