1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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