My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
