Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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