He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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