I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
