Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
