What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Small penises have feelings too.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
