you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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