A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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