How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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