i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
