It's like God shit irony all over that family
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
