Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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