Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
COCAINE IS GR8
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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