I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
