My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
