Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
