we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone shattered a urinal.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
