Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
