video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
there is glitter all over my balls
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
