yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Congratulations! We have a period
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
