I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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