I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
