you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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