They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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