the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They are going to name an STD after you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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